A complete novel by Maham Shahbaz. The story of a girl who has to fight with fate and her loved ones for her loved ones...
CHAPTER 1
My sisters used to tell me that on my birthmy father was holding my mother’s hand. But when he found out of a baby girl,he let it go and stormed out of the room angrily. Then I was handed in to thearms of my mother, who very lovingly took me.
When she looked at me she shed a tear ortwo. She smiled; her smile was full of love and agony. Love, because I was herchild and a mother is made to love. Agony because I was her fourth daughter,who opened her eyes in such an unwelcome environment of this cruel, harsh andcold world.
I was named Natalia by my mother. She chosethis name for me as it meant sunlight and that was what she thought I was,bright and shinning like a sun. I had white creamy soft skin and blue-greeneyes, just like that of a clear ocean.
My hair was golden with a hint of brown inthem. They had curls and I looked just like an angel. On my birth my mothergave me a silver heart shaped necklace, which I always wore around my neck. Myfather gave it to my mother but she gave it to me.
My father regretted marrying my motherbecause she bore him 4 daughters despite his greatest wish of a son; at leastthat was what I was told.
My father married my mother at his ownwish. My mother belonged to a rather poor family and my father was a rich manso she couldn’t say no to marry him.
After one month of my birth, one rainynight my father came into my room and told my mother that now he could not livewith her anymore, then he said the three horrible words and left…
My mother’s heart was shattered in to amillion pieces like that of a broken glass which could not be fixed again. Shehad always imagined that living without him was impossible. She felt her worldtumbling down. On this dreadful night my mother’s eyes were red due to excessivecrying. Her face was swollen. Tears came out of her eyes every second like therain that was falling on the window pane.
In the morning my father was nowhere to befound. Mother packed our bags and went to my sister’s room. They were sleepinga very peaceful sleep. It took my mother all that she had to wake them up andtell them that they were going to their grandmother’s house. Her voice shiveredevery second while she talked to them.
My father was a very rich man had a verybeautiful house as big as a palace. When the snow used to fall he burnt theheaters of almost every room so that his daughters could never get cold. Thelawn in front of the house was so big that we could make two houses on it. Theback of the house was also big but we were never allowed to go there withoutour father. Servants lived there
CHAPTER 2
When we were about to leave my father wasstanding in front of the gate admiring the beauty of nature as if nothing hadhappened. When we all passed in front of him he stopped us.
“Rabia”
, he said to my mother
“Let me have two of my beautifuldaughters….ummmm…..what do you say about Mishal and Ayesha”
It wasn’t a question but a command. Mymother plainly refused knowing that she didn’t stand a chance against himbecause he was a man and he possessed all the power in the world. As she wasabout to pass him one of the two guards standing by the door caught Mishal andAyesha.the other one caught my mother.
Hassan signaled the ayah standing near him.She gave a long and sorrowful look at my mother, who was screaming then took mysisters with her.
My mother screamed and tried to snatch herdaughters from the evil clutches of her husband but she couldn’t. He thenkicked her out with me and my other sister Sara. Sara was 5 at that time.
“Take care of Sara and………n…………her….whateverher name is” he added
CHAPTER 3
When we entered our village a clean andpure air welcomed us. My grand mother’s house located near a hillock which wasfull of greenery and a very big and shady tree. My grand mother was very poorand barely earned a living for her self.
When we reached our grand mothers house shewas sleeping. We didn’t want to wake her up and give her the bad news. Mymother cooked eggs and bred for my sisters. We sat very quietly.
Night started to fall but my grand motherdidn’t wake up. My mother was feeling very lonely so she decided to wake herup.
Rabia tried to wake her up but she didn’twake up. So she pulled the blanket of her but she wouldn’t move.
That night my mother cried tearless criesand there is nothing more horrible than hearing a mother cries…I don’t know howmy mother went out and told her neighbor, very nice woman, about all that hadhappened. May be because she knew that she had to live for me. Me a part ofher, a part of her life…
After that dreadful day Rabia had to getout and work in other people’s houses. So that she could earn money for us...
AFTER 5 YEARS….
My mother started teaching me at evening.When she came back from her work. She wasn’t well learned; she only studied for8 years. After that her father couldn’t afford her studies so she startedworking at my father’s house.
Sara was now 10 so she helped my mother bycleaning some houses. She still went to school my father paid for her studies.
Sara was pretty she had a light browncomplexion, black hair, brown eyes.
CHAPTER 4
AFTER 10 YEARS
One morning Sara who was now 20 went to themarket to buy some grocery there by chance she met Asad. He was her high schoolfriend. After being 5 months in relationship with him. He went abroad and now theymet again. She was very happy when she returned and told my mother all that hadhappened.
“What does he do?”
“He is a very successful businessman” sheanswered proudly
On hearing this my mothers face went pale.She thought for a moment then said in a very low voice
“Sara dear you have no idea how cruel thisworld is. All a man wants from his wife is heir and…nothing else absolutelynothing”
Rabia then saw tears falling from herdaughter’s eyes. She ignored them and then added
“When she fails to do that she is thrownaway like garbage……to him a woman is nothing more than a pretty flower whenthat flower looses its fragrance and beauty it’s thrown away…”
After saying this she went out of the roomand I think I saw tears in her eyes. I went to sit with Sara. She whispered
“Just like baba did to mama”
I waited so that she would say somethingmore so that her words would make sense but she didn’t. I asked what she meantby that but she just turned away.
Nobody ever told me the truth about fatherthat he gave divorce to my mother. I was only told that he died 9 months beforeI was born and that he died along with my two sisters because of AIDS. At thattime they were just 2 and 4 years old.
In the morning my mother went to Sara whowas cleaning dishes. What my mom said that night broke her heart. Rabia justcouldn’t see her daughter drowned in the tears caused by her so she agreed tomeet Asad.
When Asad was seated the first questionthat Rabia bombarded him with was that if he really loved Sara. He answeredthat he did. The next one was if he wanted heir more than Sara. He thought fora moment and then answered that he wanted Sara. He said that with suchsincerity that my mother had to trust him.
The month that followed was all aboutSara’s marriage.
CHAPTER 5
On her marriage she looked pretty. She worea white dress and looked like a doll.
Asad called me his princess and used totreat me like I was really his sister. He was very kind.
I knew almost everyone on her weddingexcept for one man who looked very rich. He took a picture with Sara and lookedvery happy. One thing that I noticed was that as soon as he entered my motherleft the room.
He then came over to me gave me a kiss and asked
“You are a pretty girl. What’s your name?”
He asked. I answered shyly that my name wasNatalia. On hearing this he froze. He asked in a very low voice
“Sara’s sister?”
I nodded on this one; he just looked at meand looked at me. I felt stupid and didn’t know what to do. I just wished thatHaris were with me. I let my hair fall on my face. After a moment he brushed mysilky golden curls away from my face. He hugged me that hug was so strong andsurprisingly I felt all my worries fly away. I think I heard him whimper whenhe turned away just to look at me again he had tears in his eyes.
I was so confused. Several thoughts rushedin to my head. Who was he? What was he doing? Who was he to me that he justcried by hearing my name?
I think he saw the confusion on my face andasked me
“Do you…I mean….ummmm…natalia…” he said myname with a lot of difficulty and emotion. He continued
“Know who I am?
I answered in a very low voice
“No”
He asked very slowly but still with somesort of grief and sorrow
“Where is your father dear?”
Then added quickly who is your father?”
“My father died 9 months before I was born,but I always wondered what he looked like.”
I added the last sentence with a lot of sorrow.He still silently looked at me. I asked him who he was. He just looked andlooked me
“I am…..ummmm……your…your…uncle, a very goodfriend of your father. He and I used to know each other since childhood”
I don’t know why but it seemed like he waslying but still I nodded.
“I have two daughters mishal and Ayesha……Iam Hassan”
I told him that my mother loved those namesa lot. On this his face became pale. Then he muttered in a very low voice
“Natalia dear I made a mistake in thepast…a very…very…big mistake. I don’t want it to haunt me for the rest of my lifewhen I can make it right….I…I…I….I….am…..” he stopped seeing my confusedexpression
“Will you come with me someday to myhouse…please natalia I will pick you up?”
I don’t have any idea what got into me thatI agreed to his invitation. He then stood up whispered ‘such a pretty girl”then he kissed my head and went away.
Chapter 6
After her marriage I and my mother weresitting near the fire. She was smiling and for once in all my life I had seenher smile so heartedly. I was still wondering about Hassan I wondered if hereally was my uncle so I asked my mother
“Mama? Do you know anyone named Hassan?”
Whatever thought she was having at themoment which made her smile was blown away because of what I said. Her facewent grave as if I had reminded her of a dreadful incident. She whispered
“Who told you about Hassan?”
“He came to Sara’s wedding. He also talkedto me” I answered. I saw fear in her eyes
“What did he say? What did he asked fromyou?”
While she asked me that she shook me. I hadnever seen so afraid or was she angry?
“He just asked me my name and invited me tohis house and he cried………a lot”
While I said all that she just looked at meand said
“Who was he?”
“He told me he was my uncle…………is he?”
I don’t know what got into her she startedyelling at me and asked why I talked to strangers? She was so mad that shestarted crying. I was so confused. I had no idea that why she was crying?
So I went out of the house crying and wentto the hillock in front of my house where I usually went when I was sad. It wasthe place where my father proposed my mother and where I first met Haris.
While I was sitting under a shady tree Icried and I cried. To my utter astonishment I saw a man standing in front ofme. He ran towards me and asked in a hurried and worried tone
“Natalia?!”
Hassan asked very surprised
“Natalia dear what are you doing here??
He asked. And the only reply he got was mytears. So he sat beside me so I could calm down and I felt his gaze on my face.He brushed away my hair and took me into his arms. Then he held my face so Ihad to look at him. He asked in a very low voice
“Did Rabia say anything to you? You toldher about me…didn’t you?”
I don’t know what got into me that I justput my head on his chest and started crying I told him all that happened. Itwas so bizarre how I let this man who I barely knew even touch me!! And stupidhow I told him everything that happened. Maybe it was because whenever I lookedinto his eyes I saw love and only love for me. Or maybe it was the first timethat I met one of my father’s friends.
Whatever it was I was sure of only onething and that was that this man really loved me.
It was such a fatherly gesture that I justcouldn’t turn away. It went against my culture my belief and everything I wastaught…
Chapter 7
We sat like that for half a hour.hassan wasbrushing my hair with his fingers. At that very moment some one stepped infront of us. At that moment I couldn’t realize who he was, then he came closerand I saw astonishment in his eyes.
“Natalia?” said Haris.
“What are you doing here at this time ofnight?”
Then his gaze fell on Hassan. So he added
“Who is he?”
“He…he…he is my…”
I didn’t finished that Hassan added
“I am her uncle…who are you?”
Haris was confused so he just said
“I forgot my ball Natalia…see you tomorrow…?”
It seemed more like a question. He pickedup his ball and went away.
When he was out of sight, Hassan turned tome and looked me in the eye
“Who was that?”
He asked
“He is Haris my friend. My best friend. Wehave been friends…for as long as I can remember”
He looked sort of angry and then answeredin a very controlled voice
“How old is he?”
“19”
“19??? Four years older than you?? My dearyou do not need to make friends in older age group!”
Then he added in a very low voice
“A woman, my dear, is honor. Honor of herfather, her brother”
“But I don’t have a brother or father” Ianswered
“Well….you have me I am like yourfather…so. You are my honor now”
I only nodded. I was so happy I now had aperson who was like a father to me.
“A woman is like a jigsaw puzzle…honour isa piece of that puzzle without it she can not be completed. Now who wants hishonour roaming around, uncovered, un protected?”
I thought that for a moment and thenquestioned
“I am your honour?”
“Yes Natalia you are…so I don’t want youhanging around with him…is that clear”
He was trying to be patient. But I couldn’tbetray a person who was such a good friend of mine and didn’t want to looseHassan too. So I told him that I will think about it.
On that he nodded and got up. So did I
“Ok kiddo I need to go my daughters will bewaiting for me. Its getting late…Rabia will be waiting for you…”
He kissed my head and was about to go whenI asked
“Will you come tomorrow?”
“Yes I will. He smiled and went away. Istared after him for some time and then went home.
Chapter 8
When I entered my mother was sleeping. So Itook off my shoes and lied beside her. She kissed my head and apologized forher behavior. I didn’t tell her about my meeting with Hassan. A mother can’tstay mad at her child for a longer time. I lay beside her and we slept togetherlike we used to when Sara. I miss those old days a lot.
In the morning when Rabia was makingbreakfast she was complaining about a severe headache for like 3 months. Iremember it was so severe that she used to scream wildly for such a long timeand then she would just take some tablets and go to sleep. I noticed her goingto sleep early she was getting weak day by day I noticed the purplish colorunder her eyes I noticed her getting thinner and thinner day by day. Her rosycheeks were now so pale.
I insisted her to go to a doctor. She saidthat they were just stupid people who thought that they knew everything. But Ireally insisted and how can a mother say no to her daughter when she has tearsin her eyes.
When Rabia returned she was exhausted shewent to sleep and told me to make dinner. When I asked what the doctor had saidshe said that they just took tests and she had to go tomorrow to get them.
I made dinner then I woke up Rabia aftereating dinner she slept again. After cleaning the dishes I had nothing to do soI went out for a walk.
When I was walking I saw Haris teaching a 2ndgrader table of twelve. He used to study in the morning and tutored littlechildren to earn money. I sat beside Haris as he chanted
“2 times 12 equal 24
3 times 12 equal 36
4 times 12 equal 48
5 times 12 equal 60…………………”
As soon as Haris saw me he told the kid togo home. The child ran away as if he got his freedom back. I laughed at thatand said
“You just can’t do more than scare littlechildren “
He turned to me with a cold face. I hadnever seen this side of him. For a while he just looked at me and kept onlooking I was confused…he saw the confusion and asked me in a stern voice
“Who was he?”
I knew what he was talking about but Idecided to play dumb
“He who?”
I asked. But it was no good he knew me toogood he asked
“You know who natalia you know it very well!“
I stayed calm and replied
“I don’t know who you are talking about Haris“
I took me by surprise when he almostshouted
“That man you were sitting with last night“
I thought that stopping acting now would bethe best thing to do. I told him all about Hassan how I met him how he talked whohe was everything because I never hid anything from Haris.
After listening to this entire story heheld up his hand as if to remove all that had happened. He asked
“There must be a reason that hates this manso much? “
I was about to answer but stopped when Harisgot up and said
“I have to go”
He said this looking at something far away.I was amazed by this reaction Haris could come in the middle of night just tohelp me and now when I told him about the greatest problem he stood up and toldme he had to go! I was outraged he understood what I was thinking so heanswered
“Your so-called uncle is here “
Stressing on the word “uncle”. I saw Hassanstanding under the tree of my hillock looking mad. Haris turned to go I caughthis hand and whispered
“Please don’t leave me alone Haris “
Haris saw my pleading eyes and said
“You got yourself in this mess and he hatesme I can’t stay you know that I’m sorry “
He took my hand from his and let it fall nmy side he turned to go I stood their astonished how could he leave me? Howcould he betray me now? I felt tears come into my eyes I wiped them and turnedto meet Hassan. He looked really mad. I walked over to him, to face a greatdanger of being alone with him …
Chapter 9
As I came over to Hassan he looked reallyangry with me and I was afraid that he might stop meeting me. As I went to himhe shouted at me
“What were you doing with that filthy muttagain I told you not to meet him! “
I was taken aback by the way he shouted atme for talking to my best friend ever I was so mad at him that tears welled upin my eyes and I shouted back at him
“You don’t know him I know him you are thefilthy mutt not him!!!!!! And I don’t want anyone to call him that!!! Not evenyou “
Hassan saw me getting angry he was amazedand had no idea what to do and so I spoke again but I spoke in a low voicealmost a whisper
“Don’t you ever come and meet me again “
On that Hassan turned and left outraged. Iwas also so mad that I started sobbing that very moment I heard someone comingI looked back and saw Harris right behind me and he looked sympatheticallytowards me he put his hand on my shoulder and told me to be quiet. I lookedinto his eyes and stopped crying and ran home without looking at him.
When I reached home I found my mothercrying as I sat beside her with questioning eyes she looked at me and kissed myforehead. I was so confused after all that had happened today I had no interestin what she had to say. I just wanted to go to sleep I was that tired. Butsuddenly rabia said something which flew away my plans for sleeping. She nevertalked on this topic in fact she hated talking about this particular topic andto my amazement I didn’t even asked her to tell me about this. She said
“Natalia do you want to know the truthabout your father? “…………………………………
Chapter 10
I stared at her amazed. I had no idea whywas she taking about this. She never talked about my father. Rabia saw theconfusion but she didn’t look surprised she looked as if she expected it. Afterall she knew me too well to be surprised by my any reaction
“He wasn’t a poor property dealer as I toldu “
She continued slowly watching my eyes
“He didn’t die along with your sisters ofAIDS “
My mind went blank at the moment I heardthis. I just couldn’t think. It was too much for me. I just stared at her openmouthed as if she had grown two heads or something.
Then in the split of a second all theagonizing flashbacks started to come in my mind. When I used to pray to Godthat I also wanted a father’s affection I also want to experience sincere loveof my dad. I craved to say the word “dad”. I had hunger for that love. I usedto envy all those people who had a father who experienced the affection of bothparents.
Then another important thought rushed in mymind what about my sisters?????? What about those girls??
What about all those times when I lived infantasies making myself believe that I am happy and stayed up all night cryingmy heart out on the same hill. What about the time when I lived in a word inwhich I had a father????? In which world I had everything all that I everneeded, most of the times I would sit quietly and let my imagination flow tothat happy place which had everything.
How could Rabia do this to me? How couldshe lie to me all my life? Making me believe that I didn’t need a father, thatmy life is complete without that damn person
!!
Another thought hurried into my mind that mymother, the person who I trusted the most, lied to me. And that lie wasn’t asmall one it was a big one, a lie so big that changed my life. I was soshattered by her words by the lies she told me. I think she lied to me all mylife. I think she lied to me of God. If there was a God he would have listenedto my prayers, my constant begging. She lied to me about the God who createdus. Now I think that He never existed. Science has no such prove of God. Thenwhy did I believe her? Why me?
“My mom didn’t love me” that was the onlyconclusion I could come up with.
Rabia saw my troubled eyes she saw thebetrayal I felt she could see the pain, the agony, the distress. She knew metoo well so she quickly added
“Natalia dear I didn’t mean to hurt you Inever did. I swear! But it was for your own good that I didn’t tell you foryour welfare. I didn’t want you to suffer like I suffered like Amna suffered.Natalia believe me…”
I didn’t want to believe her but as soon asI saw her tear filled eyes I saw sincerity, love, and passion. How could I turnaway from a woman who raised me?
Tears started rolling down my eyes and Iasked her
“Where is my …………………… my father”
She looked deep into eyes as if she couldsee my crippled soul. She shuddered and answered in a low voice
“Near you……with you…well usually withyou………you love him…..but I don’t know if he does……and your two sistersmish……….”
As soon as she said the world “sisters” myhead snapped up knots started to form in me my heart started to pain I longedto hear about my sisters but before I could finish my sentence she startedscreaming in pain . She asked me to bring her tablets. I ran toward the kitchenbrought a glass of water and gave her the medicines. She took then and after awhile she slept leaving me to my thoughts my torn world. I wanted to wake herup but I couldn’t.
I kissed her cheek and went outside to thehill. The hill on which once my mother and father stood , under the same tree Isat and started thinking that what could she have meant by “with you” but Inever met him I never even saw his face. I had no idea what to do what to thinkwhat to feel I was in a shock. At last I concluded that it was all too much andI should stop thinking about this matter. But I couldn’t stop thinking I justcouldn’t. I guess the thought that I never wanted to occur in my mind of havingmy father alive.
I heard soft footsteps on the grass I gotup and turned to look around only to see Hassan standing in front of me…….
Chapter 11
As soon as i saw him norush of emotions came over me i was just so absorbed in what Rabia told me. Iturned away and ran towards my house i could hear him calling my name but ididn’t turn. I closed the door and leaned beside it then i searched for anysigns of having my mother awake. She wasn’t up so i thanked god. But thensomeone softy knocked on the door i knew it was better to just open the doorthan creating a scene.
When i opened the door ididn’t noticed his misty eyes, his face filled with deep sorrow his handsnervously moving or the way he hesitated before saying anything.
“ I’m so sorry natalia ireally am…”
He couldn’t speak anymoreso i just nodded and turned to close the door but he stopped me on that i wassurprised so i repeated
“its ok Hassan …. Justdon’t speak ill of Haris again… he is a very good friend….”
I turned to close the dooragain but he caught the door he caught my hand pulled me close that there wasjust a distance of 2 inches between us …. I was taken aback by such a gesture..iit was then that i noticed his eyes full of worry gloominess deep very deeppain … his face twisted his eyes puffy. And then he suddenly started crying hepulled me close, hugged me , almost squeezing me he cried and cried. I was in astate of shock. While crying he babbled
“ i don’t wanna loose you…. I dnt wanna loose you… not now.. not never… not again… please don’t leave menat please don’t let go of your poor father… don’t let me go mydaughter…don’t…..”
After hearing those wordsi was puzzeled. Well he did called me his daughter but never like this…
I tried to hold free ofhis grasp but he didn’t allowed he just hugged and cried and cried. After awhile i tried to turn away again he allowed me to move but only as much soo wewere face to face and i was 1 inch away from his face.
“daughter…????”
He then looked in my eyesand kept on staring as if he could see my wretched tired soul…
“yes daughter…my dearnatalia you are my daughter like amna , mishal and Ayesha…. You are my fourthdaughter…”
That was too much he justhad to say that i couldn’t feel ground under my feet the world around metwirled. How could i bear so much in one day ?
Suddenly every thing wentblank darkness surrounded me…in that darkness i could hear the troubled voiceof Hassan and concerned voice of Haris…wait…where did Haris camefrom???....maybe he is so around me that i always think of him …
Chapter 12
When i opened my eyes i was laying on thesofa of living room Hassan had my hand and his head was resting on shoulder Hariswas looking out of the window his back towards me. I looked at Hassan …… theman i have been grieving to meet all my life was in front of me. I should behappy…… but why don’t i feel that pleasure??
What’s wrong with me?? My ‘dad’ the personwho was only a dream to me . who only existed in my fantasies…. Is this evenpossible? Maybe this all is just another silly dream …
Hassan??? my father??? No no no no no …… he is just kidding if he was my father whywould he say that he is my uncle??
Then another thought rushed into my mind iwent back to the 1st day i met him….how his face was froze when itold him my name …. With how much hesitation and agony he said that he was myuncle…but why would he say that?
He loved me…
When i was thinking all this i felt a warmhand on my forehead i turned to find Haris checking my temperature he looked atme with sympathetic and troubled eyes. last time i saw him that troubled was 2years ago when his mother was dying of blood cancer and he couldn’t afford hercheckup……while i was going through the past he helped me get out of Hassan’sgrip and gestured me to walk with him.
I felt wobbly and dizzy so he held me forsupport but still insisted on going out. Seeing him that troubled i justcouldn’t say no, when we were out he took me under the same tree of the samehill and gestured with his hand so that i would sit down…all the way i didn’ttalk neither did he. I had a sudden rush of nausea that i couldn’t even sitproperly he supported but didn’t ask me go in….
I couldn’t hold it in any more so i askedhim what was wrong with him. He answered
“Me?? Oh Nat…hon. what can be wrong withme….you are the one in trouble dear…”
I looked over to my house but i coudnt findthat safety or security or even peace that i used to have when me amna andrabia used to live there. Looking at the streets i remembered all the timeswhen i used to laugh and play around but now it seemed as if i wasn’t invitedanymore…
Harris looked at me again and this timevery deeply…he spoke in a very low voice
“ Hassan told me every thing… about yourmom and him and his two daughters…
He took a deep breath and continued
“As important as you are to me. I won’t lieto you so listen clearly to what i say and no questions…when your mother gavebirth to Amna the clashes between your father and his rival began and at thattime his very life was at stake. That is the reason your father-Hassan wanted aheir so badly so that someone would be there to look after his property hiswife his family. Hassan belongs to those group of people to whom their honourself-respect and dignity is everything. He can die but he can not let go offhis honour…
After the birth of mishal and Ayesha hecouldn’t wait anymore he told Rabia that the next time would be her last timeafter that he is going to marry some other woman…Rabia stayed up all nightpraying that god would gift him a son she cried she broke things but no use … whenshe got the news that she was soon going to become a mother she prayed andprayed but all went in vain…when you were born your father left the country andcame after 3 days… when he came he told Rabia that he was going to marry Mariaa close relative. Rabia asked him to divorce her as she wouldn’t tolerateanother woman in her house…Hassan was left with no choice he offered her to gether another house but she didn’t listened to him…Hassan begged cried dideverything in his power but Rabia just wont listen…the family pressure was alsoincreasing…after a whole month he gave up and he let go off his love…that wasthe first night Hassan actually felt pain and after taking his two daughterswith him he was torn…he almost stopped living…that was the first time he gotdrunk…he was in pieces …
He did married Maria but he never liked her.there first son was born dead and according to their traditions this wasconsidered a very bad omen…Maria never used to give a damn to him she wasalways into materialistic things…her second baby was also born still…the thirdchild was a son .. even after the birth of his son he didn’t feel happy…thenight fahad was born his mother ran away leaving a note saying that she hadenough of Hassan and didn’t wanted to live with such a dead person…even on herdeparture he didn’t show any emotion he says he never had any thing with herand the son born was maybe not even his own…he was a man of great honour seeinghis wife run away like that he did nothing and everyone was surprised…
He never looked after his son like he usedto look after his daughters … he didn’t believed in girls getting educated butbecause he loved Rabia and she wanted her daughters to study he let them studytill college same was the case with Amna …
He came on amna’s marriage and that was thefirst time any one saw him happy in 25 years …
When he saw you he was like what a prettygirl i must get to know her maybe she’ll be a good wife for fahad but when heheard your name he was taken aback… he couldn’t run away from his past he lovedyou so much that you were the girl who haunted him all his life all he couldthink of was you in 25 whole years he waited to meet you he longed to see youbut he didn’t try to meet you because that would hurt Rabia.. It would hurt herto see him again and again … they still loved each other a lot
On knowing you didn’t know of your fatherhe was pained almost like some one stabbed in his heart…
When he saw you with me his honour gettingruined like this he couldn’t stand it and when you defended me in front of himhe felt as if he had lost you again by some accident or another twist of evilfate…
That’s the reason why he came back todayand told you the truth… “
By this time i was in tears i was cryingwith hiccups i couldn’t control it… Haris could see the pain the misery i feltso he took me in his arms hugged me tight to let me know that he was there for me...He was there with me through the thick and thin … i knew he was with me but ijust couldn’t stop…
And right there i fell asleep……………
Chapter 13
I woke up due to sunlight when i woke up isaw Haris sleeping…i just there and recalled all that had happened the night before.I looked at him and saw that he was asleep so i stood up and woke him up. healso looked around v were lucky that no one saw us and we both ran home…when icame back i could hear someone whispering hurriedly…and then when i came in theroom i saw my mom crying and my dad was trying to calm her down. As soon asthey saw me they gave a sigh of relief they were both worried sick about me. Ididn’t even look at them i didn’t want to but i looked at Hassan and saw theagony that he was feeling in his eyes but at that very moment my mom screamedwith pain and i ran to get her medicine but before i could move she fainted wetook her to hospital in a hurry and there the doctor revealed that rabia wassuffering from brain tumor when i heard this i couldn’t feel my feet i startedto fall down but luckily Hassan catched me. When we went in to see rabia shewas in tears and she held my hand she looked at Hassan and gave him a smile. Wewere all hypnotized in the moment that suddenly amna along with her husbandrushed in and amna started crying at the same time mishal and Ayesha entered ididn’t know them . they both had tears in their eyed when my mom held them shehad a smile whish i still cant forget so lively so beautiful she had what shewished for all her life and when i saw the peace creeping to her face i forgotabout the tumour . that night me, amna, Ayesha, mishal, rabia and Hassan satlike a family one of my greatest wishes came true i looked around as if i wasin a dream i was so happy and my mother could see it in my eyes but it didn’tlast long rabia died the other day she died in my arms on a rainy day the rainwas pattering against the window pane and i was screaming and crying forloosing the best thing that i ever had . rabia promised that only death cantake her away from me and she was so right. That was the gloomiest and darkestday of all my life. That was the day i felt cold inside but everyone was therefor me still i longed for the hand whose touch can make me feel like i’m the mostimportant thing that ever existed , whose warmth could make me feel better nomatter what the consequences…but as she left she gave me a whole new gift mysisters and my father but no one could fill the hole that she left…
After5 years
its been 5 years since my mother’s deathbut the memory is still fresh it still stings me like the first day…mishal andAyesha are amazing they are very caring and loving
… Hassan’s son was extremely ignorant andstill is we all know he only lives with his father for money but we are tryingto help him…Hassan has got color back in his life now he laughs and smiles andplays with my daughter a lot he says i filled the vacant space in his heart…ohyeah i forgot to tell i got married to Haris i named my daughter after Rabiaand Haris loves her a lot he never complains of having a daughter. He saysdaughters are a blessing of God. They are not burden…he says she is the appleof his eyes…my life is finally happy but i still wish Rabia were here with meto see this to share my happiness. She always said that when you get marriedwill be the time I’ll think I’ve been a good mother but how can i tell her thatshe has been the best mother…
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